Dear Thirteen: We’re on a Floating Rock in Space

Sometimes when I think about my life, I get really worried that I’m falling behind. It feels like everyone else has their life together, and I’m just stuck—doing the same things I’ve always done.

I get scared that I’m not “grown up” enough. That I’m not really an adult—just three little kids in a trench coat pretending to be one. I think about my credit score and the fact that I still don’t have a couch (don’t judge me), and suddenly I feel like I should just walk into the ocean.

Me being deeply unserious

But then I remember: literally nothing is that serious. We are on a floating rock in the middle of outer space. Credit didn’t even exist until Black people started buying houses. NONE OF THIS IS REAL. Life can be whatever we want it to be. I take myself way too seriously sometimes—and it’s okay to slow down, to take a breath, to just be.

That’s not to say you should be reckless (though, let’s be honest, I often am). What I am saying is: give yourself more time. You don’t have to get it right immediately. You’re allowed to mess up. To ruin things. Twenty-three is the age where you get to fumble and no one really bats an eye.

I can’t wait for the day when I look back on this time and laugh at how badly I wanted to grow up. When I was 13, I couldn’t wait to be 23. And now that I’m here, I finally understand—I can take my time.